Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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