and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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