Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
