Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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