she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
