Jerry, you need to find god
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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