This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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