Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
