My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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