Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
