so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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