She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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