It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
