the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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