Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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