she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
