He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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