i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
