Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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