I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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