He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
