shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
