Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
