you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do herpes really smell.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
