It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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