I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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