Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
