Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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