Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
