party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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