he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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