is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
