they need to just BURY HIM!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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