Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
