I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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