I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
