Betty ford says i'm here all night
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
