I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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