Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
