About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
