You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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