dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
