we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
