a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize