The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
