he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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