He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
