I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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