You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
