My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
