We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
