I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
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If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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