Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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