I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
