people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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