i permit you to call me
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
