A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize