I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
