Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
