the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
