he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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