4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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