Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
