I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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