oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
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look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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