time to smoke my breakfast
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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